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Post Here - Most annoying Flight Attendant Story Here

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stevesurf

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Most annoying Flight Attendant Story

For the most part they're great people, really sweet...but when they want to get back at us...we have no recourse (unless you wanna get arrested when you land) except here! How have they ####ed YOU off?

Yesterday's trip Red-eye flight from Vegas to Newark:

I got the cheap airfare this time, so I was stuck in a coach seat just behind the first class cabin. I had to get some sleep.

Ok, help the pretty girl with her carry on, adjust seat so as not to crunch the human doughnut sitting behind me, fasten seat belt, turn on my iPOD, select Relaxation Mix, insert EX71's in ear...I'm a model p[assenger really in need of sleep on the red eye.

Plane's in the air, I begin to fall asleep, all of a sudden someone's touching my feet - it's the flight attendant fumbling with the First Class Cabin barrier rope. I wake up and grumble a little. I go back to sleep...

All of a sudden I am awake again check my watch (only a half hour passed) and its the same FA playing with the long velvet sausage.

The third time this happens I can't take this game anymore and kick her hands away from my stocking feet, pretending to be still asleep. I think she was ####ed.

It's not my problem if she either can't keep her hands off my feet or is obsessed with protecting her First Class passengers from us lowly plebians.

Anyway the last straw was when, knowing I had to pee badly and there was a mile long at the bathroom with the old folks, I waited until she was out of sight and bolted for the First Class bathroom.

Now, mind you, I am wearing a Tommy Bahamajama shirt with iPod wires coming out everywhere, have a dark complexion and could conceivably look like a member of the pilots-in-training team.

Anyway she's now knocking on the door of the bathroom reminding me that I have violated the First Class bathroom usage prime directive and I must finish immediately. You know what it's like to try to pee when someone's knocking on the bathroom door. The bloody valve gets stuck, you know you're gonna be in pain in a half hour and you better finish the job.

Hey, I get to sit up front a great deal and if one of you really had to go, I would care if you used the bloody bathroom! Hey I'll post my kitty transport story next, after I hear your story...
 
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aquatika

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Last Christmas I was fortunate enough to get an upgrade to Business class for my 7 hour flight home. I was dog tired as I'd been up for around 30 hours as it was.

I'd had 3 or 4 beers while waiting for the flight and by the time I got onto the plane and sat down in my comfy business class chair all I wanted to do was sleep. I pulled my blanket up, put my feet up and drifted away to the land of nod.

Next thing I know my travelling companion (who hadn't gotten an upgrade so was sitting at the back of the plane) was prodding me awake asking if I was alright. I told him I was fine but something registered in the back of my half asleep brain that something wasn't right.

It turned out that the flight attendant had seen me sleeping and for some reason had tried to wake me up (he couldn't have tried very hard as my friend told me I woke easily when he tried). When I didn't stir the attendant assumed I was dead and started a little panic.

He had contacted the pilot and had instructed him to turn the plane back (fortunately, it hadn't taken off yet) from it's taxi to the runway and an emergency team had been called to come once the plane returned to the terminal. He had also looked to see if I was travelling with anybody and when he found my friend he asked him to come up front to answer some questions, like my medical background etc etc.
It was at that point that my friend tried to wake me himself, which he succeeded in doing with no trouble.

Of course once my friend told me what was going on I was horrified and tried to assure the attendant that I was okay. He wasn't listening though and insisted that I be checked out, to say I was embarassed would be an understatement. All I could think about was the irrational fear that if my company found out about my causing a plane to turn back I would get the sack and the poor passengers who would end up delayed once we did get to our destination.

Talk about pi**ed off, I was livid but all I could do was sit and try to be calm while a doctor came and checked me over, gave me the all clear (which I had said I was in the first place) and let the flight continue on. The attendant apologised later on but it was one of the most embarrasing moments of my life, although looking back now it was quite funny.

In saying all that though, I fly a lot and I've got tons of respect for these hard working people, most of the time anyway.

Just don't fall asleep in Business class before the flight has taken off.

:)
 
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stuconnolly02

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Yeah I got one, it must have been about 5 years ago when I was on my way to Florida for the summer. I was sitting next to my brother and it was like a 9 hour flight and I can't really sleep while flying.

Anyway during the flight we both must of been annoying the woman flight attendant the whole way there, asking for excessive amounts of drink, making to much noise, disturbing other passengers or something.

Towards the end of the flight my brother who is older than me and very much bigger had the idea to take the small pillows and use them as boxing gloves. Anyway there we were sitting with a pillow on each hand punching each other in the face repeatedly. We got a bit carried away and one of the pillows my step brother had on fell off and the next punch he threw smacked me right in the face. Well, he burst my nose with blood going everywhere, so me clutching my face rush to the toilet getting funny looks as I go, trying not to drip blood on everyone I pass. I just about get there when the flight attendant stops me in my tracks saying I had to return to my seat because the seat belt light was on. Anyway I try and get passed explaining why, although it was obvious enough why I needed to go but she insists that I go back to my seat not helping my situation in any way.

Well I had to wait until the plane landed with my blooded hands and clothes before I could get to a toilet.

Will never do that again.
 

stevesurf

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Aquatika - that is incredible - the flight attendant thought you were dead??!!! Was he stupid or what? They may have just been trying to get out of crediting you for the frequent flyer mileage.
 

Shootingstar11

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I have one

Last spring break my friend and I where flying down to the Bahamas. We where with my parents but we ended up sitting at the very back of plane while they were at the front. The flight attendants decided to play a few games and they asked everyone to put a dollar in a bag with their seat number written on it. The lady sitting next to us must have been sure she was going to win becuse she put a twenty in. My dad ended up winning and when I realized it was him the lady got really angry, she was glaring at me when I was like " Oh hey my Dad won" I got up to go talk to my parents and when I came back the lady had put her drink on her seat and was " sleeping" I asked my friend to hold the ladys drink while I sat down. Suddenly we hit some turbulace and her drink went all over me my friend and my ipod. When we asked the fligh attenant to take our her drink away and give us some napkins, she glared at us and said very nastily " one moment if you don't mind" she didn't come back and we couldn't get up because of that " fasten seatbelt" sign. So we where stuck with a half full glass, and we where covered in coke. we became horribly sticky the rest of the flight all thanks to that stupid lady and her drink. we where very tempted to dump the rest on her head!
 

stevesurf

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Shootingstar11 said:
Suddenly we hit some turbulace and her drink went all over me my friend and my ipod. When we asked the fligh attenant to take our her drink away and give us some napkins, she glared at us and said very nastily " one moment if you don't mind" she didn't come back and we couldn't get up because of that " fasten seatbelt" sign. So we where stuck with a half full glass, and we where covered in coke. we became horribly sticky the rest of the flight all thanks to that stupid lady and her drink. we where very tempted to dump the rest on her head!
Geez did the iPod survive? Yeah, many flight attendants need lots of anger management or Prozac or both Maybe they should pipe the Prozac in small doses through the cabin ;)
 

MyPodRox

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stuconnolly02 said:
Yeah I got one, it must have been about 5 years ago when I was on my way to Florida for the summer. I was sitting next to my brother and it was like a 9 hour flight and I can't really sleep while flying.

Anyway during the flight we both must of been annoying the woman flight attendant the whole way there, asking for excessive amounts of drink, making to much noise, disturbing other passengers or something.

Towards the end of the flight my brother who is older than me and very much bigger had the idea to take the small pillows and use them as boxing gloves. Anyway there we were sitting with a pillow on each hand punching each other in the face repeatedly. We got a bit carried away and one of the pillows my step brother had on fell off and the next punch he threw smacked me right in the face. Well, he burst my nose with blood going everywhere, so me clutching my face rush to the toilet getting funny looks as I go, trying not to drip blood on everyone I pass. I just about get there when the flight attendant stops me in my tracks saying I had to return to my seat because the seat belt light was on. Anyway I try and get passed explaining why, although it was obvious enough why I needed to go but she insists that I go back to my seat not helping my situation in any way.

Well I had to wait until the plane landed with my blooded hands and clothes before I could get to a toilet.

Will never do that again.
U tried to have a pillow fight on a plane?! lmao

The only issue Ive had is the lady wouldnt go get me one of those cheap set of headphones they sell on planes (this was b4 i had my iPod) And when i reminded her she got all po-ed.
 

stevesurf

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Second story:
I adopted 2 kitties while on vacation with my former girlfriend from the Dumb Friends Animal League in Denver. I live in New York. We actually brought her cat, Adolpho for some surgery at a Vet in Denver (she trusted noone on the east coast).

So, on the return trip, we were carrying on three cats in two Soft Pet Carriers. We looked like aristocrats (or aristocats) on holiday, handing them off to each other at Xray, etc, while Security looked on, amused.

I actually paid $70 for each cat for the priviledge of keeping Adolpho, Francesca and Vito close to us on the flight.

We're making the turn onto the runway, when a male flight attendant scampers (yes, scampers) up and down the aisle doing something and then saying to one of the other FA's to stop the plane. I can't believe they are stopping a flight on a runway!

He then strolls over to me and asks me if I have A cat. Of course I had to almost hold back from telling him that we actually had three, and their "pet boarding passes" were right in my hot little hands :eek:

He then does more scampering, tells us to move forward to a couple of seats up front, only to find someone else had brought two cats on board, for a grand total of five cats on board!

The person sitting behind me was evidently mildly allergic to kitties and was having a little bit of a tough time. After praying very hard that they don't take my kitties away, they resumed the flight.

I later walked to the back to get the copy of Cat Fancy from my old seat pocket and poor chap with the allergy looks like he wants to kill me...
 

baggss

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I fly a lot and really only have one annoying attendant story. It was about 3 months ago, on a return flight from Lima, Peru. For takeoff, I had my iBook in the seat back pocket (I was in coach) and the attendant had no problem with it as it was all the way down. For the return flight I put it into a the same place but a different attendant came by and made an issue out of it. I ended up giving it to her to put into the overhead. She shoved it up there and closed the compartment. My seat partner and I both look a bit concerned about how she did it. After the plane lands the guy on the aisle on the row in front of me (I was in a window seat) pops up and opens the overhead. He misses being smacked by my iBook by less than 1/2 inch. He, rightly so, goes bonkers about almost being brained by my laptop, and I'm just worried about my iBook. He goes to the front of the plain and complains to the head attendant, she asked who's laptop it was, I say mine but reveal that her co-attendant was the one who just tossed it up there and that I originally had it in the seat pocket as her and I had discusses before take off. The other attendant starts siting rules and regs, but the head attendant cuts here off and tells her the iBook was all right where it was, there was no need for her to mess with it. She then apologized to me and the guy who almost got hit.

The iBook was ok.
 

stevesurf

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Baggs, those laptop airline stories rarely turn out good - you are lucky, indeed! One of my people I've got one rule of thumb: the FA's #1 concern is getting fined or fired and not your laptop.

So I get a couple of magazines from the airplane's stash, one to cover the laptop; one to read. This month's copy of GQ with Lindsay Lohan on the cover did the trick. And when I do put the notebook in the overhead, it's in a Zero case that has several dents due to the people that just have to exit the plane first - one time someone almost got knocked out by it...oh well.

I think things will change when the airlines are really not anything special at all - they are simply transportation. Hell, I can carry a fishtank onboard Amtrak.
 
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