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Joke of the Day: 02-10-06

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IronSerif

100% Dead Sexy
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Well...One week until Katsucon!! This will be my first time there, but I heard it's much smaller than Otakon...but still should be a ton of fun. Plus I took off of work that friday, so it'll be a nice 4 day weekend.

Also, it looks like Baltimore is "supposed" to get hit with some snow tomorrow...maybe 6-12 inches. And as usual, with the single mentioning of snow, all of the grocery stores were packed after work lol. Thank God I don't have to go anywhere near those places :p

And on that note...it's Joke time! Enjoy :party:

first one was submitted by a friend of mine...


This new marine is stationed in Iraq, and his commander is showing him around. He is almost done with the tour, when the officer takes him to a tent. In the tent is a camel tied to a pole, with a stool behind it. The officer says, "If you ever get lonely we have a camel." The soldier disgusted responds, "Eww thats sick... you all give a bad name to marines." He walks Away.

After a month of duty the soldier is getting really lonely, and he decides to go up to the camel. After about 2 minutes with the camel, the officer walks in and says, "What the heck are you doing son. You are supposed to ride the camel into town where there are women. You disgusting freak."


Thanks for the joke man!:)
 

IronSerif

100% Dead Sexy
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And last one...




While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10
mph over the limit), I passed under a bridge only to find a policeman with a radar gun on the other side laying in wait.
He pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that
classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked,
"What's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh, yeah," said the policeman, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The policeman stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work
way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my
whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in,
and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6-foot as*hole?"
to which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun
and park him behind a bridge .."

Traffic Ticket: 95.00
Court Costs: 45.00
The look on his face: Priceless




lol! Alright guys i'm outta here. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Chances are I might miss the Joke of the Day next week since we're leaving friday morning for this convention. So hopefully I'll come back with some stories!

Peace out! :D
 

Maxman

Don't Call Me Fat, Jon...
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Only two this week? Bit dissapointed. Nevertheless, histerical ad always!!
 

superman56

Super Lounger
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those are hiarious mind if i post one?

A drunk stumbles into a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by
the river. He walks down into the water and stand next to the preacher.

The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you
ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "Yesh, Your Honor, I shur am!"

The minister dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back
up."Have you found Jesus?" he asked.

"Nooo, Your Highness, I shur dint!" says the drunk. The preacher then
dunks him under for a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother,
have you found Jesus?"

"Noooo, Your Majesty, I shur dint!" the drunk slurs again.

Disgusted, the preacher holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this
time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone,
"My good man, have you found Jesus YET?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is
where he fell in?"
 
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