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In Honour Of Stupid People

GO TO ADMIN PANEL > ADD-ONS AND INSTALL VERTIFORO SIDEBAR TO SEE FORUMS AND SIDEBAR

L33tG4m3r

iPod, therefore I am
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Enjoy!
 
Joined
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I remember one I read in the instruction booklet of a stand fan I purchased that said:

"Do not use fan in the shower".... This makes you go 'umm'.

I think this is so companies can avoid being sued by consumers who want to blame the manufacturer for their stupidity. The first thing they point out is that 'it wasn't in the instructions or on the product not to do it'. It's fast cash for being stupid.
 

papayaninja

Better Than Cats
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Bill Engval does some "Here's Your Sign" bits like this. My favorite is:

"Do not eat contents" found in the silica packets in electronics boxes. When's the last time you picked up a stereo thinking "God, I'm starving!"
 

hyroboarder

Active member
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yeah the one with the peanuts sounds stupid, but they are required by law to put that warning on or else some idiot that wants money could sue because they're allergic to nuts.

Another stupid thing I heard about this was some guy in his RV put on cruise control while driving on the highway and went in the cabin of the RV to go to the bathroom or something. He crashed, sued the company, won, and now theres a warning in the owners manual that says not to leave the wheel and go in the cabin.
 

JazzyMac

Jazzy Smooth
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Usually these statements end up on the package after someone has sued for doing something that stupid...OR the lawyer waiting in the hospital found something to do and brought up the subject of the lawsuit because someone did something that stupid.

Reading past volumes of the Darwins will probably pinpoint the actual culprit. :D
 

kyussmondo

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Sep 30, 2003
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Ipswich, UK
L33tG4m3r said:
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
When I went to KFC not long ago they had a sign behind the counter for employees reading "Caution: Hot plates are hot"!?

I think the problem is the suing culture. If they don't put this then someone is bound to sue because it never said the hot plates were hot when they burnt themselves!
 
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