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Gutted - A cow has eaten my ipod and I want to go back and punch it in the face

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MikeM

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Very funny.

I offer one correction though: Cows only have 4 teats, not 6. :D
 

maogall

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Damn that was funny! I feel sorry 'bout the iPod though.

Now that's proper way to use ####ty ipod.
 

Ipodder7

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who owns the cows btw maybe they will pay for it or something?
 

blacksails

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What goes in, must come out. Just wait around in the field with a stick to poke through all of the cow's excrements. Have fun!
 

TopHat

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LMAO, thats the funniest thing I have heard in a while. haha, I am laughing just thinking about it.

Yea, I think the warranty should cover it.

lol


yea, one more lol
 

iMacc

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iPodder7 said:
who owns the cows btw maybe they will pay for it or something?
''Hello Mr farmer, your cow has just eaten my ipod. Can i have some money off you for a replacement ?''


Hmmmm.....I doubt it somehow.
 

neb

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Find some rat poison and kill the little speckled, iPod-munching, 12oz, sunday roast. There would be something strangely amusing about making sure you get your revenge.

I's possible that it may not work, if you ever get it back :(
 

minor_threat

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Thanks for your support guys, unfortunatley you are not the only people who think it's hilarious. Upon checking my voicemail I found I had two messages of complete hysterical laughing, three wise guys who just spent a few minutes going "Mooooo Mooooo Mooooo" and a flurry of emails consisting of cow photos, cow jokes, cow songs and a veterinary article on cow digestion. With friends like these who needs enemies?! I mean, you've got to laugh at these things though haven't you?!

Anyway - LATEST COWPOD UPDATE: Sunday morning, I had gone out to the shop for a newspaper, ipod-less and imagining music in my head. I arrived home, made a coffee and was just about to sit down when there was a knock on the door. I opened the door to find a big stinky horse's head gazing at me (which was a bit freaky), and looked up to see the beautiful woman sitting on the horse smiling. (This raised a few questions: did the horse knock on my door? More than that, how did she know where I lived -the woman, not the horse-?!)

So, the stinky horse (I've had it with anmals now) was tied up to the tree as far away from my car as possible and beautiful woman was invited in for a coffee as she had "something" to tell me. My dining room was a tip because I've still got hundreds of CDs piled high and I can't brig myself to put them away again!

Somebody at the stables had been speaking to the farmer who owns the fields, and opened their big mouth to tell him about the ipod-munching event. The little witch got it all wrong, told the farmer 'somebody' was interfering with the cows ("interfering" - I mean, please, that makes it sound like I was trying to goad it into a relationship or something!), scaring the cows, making a nuisance and the rumour around the stables was that whatever happened involved a CD player (they're massive!).

I was going to speak to the farmer but Kate has told me that he thinks I'm the devil incarnate and he's gunning to find out exactly who it was who upset his herd of stinking-flea-infested-steaks-to-be. AND, a vet was seen in attendance so he was muttering about compensation for vets bills, which he will not be getting from me. Kate went round the field on horseback looking for it but couldn't find it. I said it was probably on its way to stomach number 3 by now and we both wondered if it was still playing music! It's probably in ipod heaven now.

I still officially hate cows, stupid dozey vile and pestilent creatures of doom. I had beef for dinner, cows are only good on a plate.
 

minor_threat

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I notice that Apple are doing a free ipod recycling program for "environmentally friendly disposal". I wonder what their reaction would be if I partked outside the Apple store in Regent Street, London, with a hulking, stinking dead cow on a trailer and told them to recycle it.
 

studogvetmed

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Chees said:
Don't cows have 4 stomachs?
And the veterinarian jumps in...

Cows have one stomach, but four compartments: The Rumen, Reticulum, Omasum, and Abomasum. The abomasum is the "True Stomach" where the acids live and is the last line befor it starts on the way out. The Rumen is a huge "Fermentation Vat" were talking "GALLONS!" of stuff. When we "necropsy" a cow we can get about one and half 32 gallon trashcans full of contents from the rumen. I had to once sort through these contents to find a bullet, as a diary cow was shot and we had to prove it... That was a busy morning.

The iPod will likely never leave the rumen and just sit in fluid and grass the rest of it's life based off of the way a cow digest things, or it may be lodged in the reticulum. If the farm uses magnents to prevent a condition call "Hardware disease", the iPod could be currently attached to one or two large magnets that have also collect various pieces of metal including nails, screws, and bailing wire.

The OP, may be able to get a veterinarian to do a rumenotomy and go rooting around for the iPod :) If I I lived in englad I'd do the procedure, but let YOU glove up and go fishing :) The meat packers will get a nice surprise while they are fixing the tripe!

Cheers,
Stuart
 

Spurs

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I don't think its going to make it out of there in tact!

Anyway, i am going to phone Apple and actually in all seriousness, "Does your warenty cover cow digestion?"

As i am worried this could happen to others!

The quesion is, if it goes through all 4 parts, through the acid and out the other end and you got it back in full working order....

....could you ever look at it in the same way again?!
 

iMacc

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studogvetmed said:
And the veterinarian jumps in...

Cows have one stomach, but four compartments: The Rumen, Reticulum, Omasum, and Abomasum. The abomasum is the "True Stomach" where the acids live and is the last line befor it starts on the way out. The Rumen is a huge "Fermentation Vat" were talking "GALLONS!" of stuff. When we "necropsy" a cow we can get about one and half 32 gallon trashcans full of contents from the rumen. I had to once sort through these contents to find a bullet, as a diary cow was shot and we had to prove it... That was a busy morning.

The iPod will likely never leave the rumen and just sit in fluid and grass the rest of it's life based off of the way a cow digest things, or it may be lodged in the reticulum. If the farm uses magnents to prevent a condition call "Hardware disease", the iPod could be currently attached to one or two large magnets that have also collect various pieces of metal including nails, screws, and bailing wire.

The OP, may be able to get a veterinarian to do a rumenotomy and go rooting around for the iPod :) If I I lived in englad I'd do the procedure, but let YOU glove up and go fishing :) The meat packers will get a nice surprise while they are fixing the tripe!

Cheers,
Stuart
studogvetmed, i'm glad you cleared this up as i was starting to worry :D ;)
 

thesire

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Wow it never occured to me that an animal could eat my iPod. I work around horses a lot in the summer and i usually dont carry my iPod around because there is too much or a risk of getting bumped by a horse. (or kicked or steped on etc). It never occured to me that an animal would eat my iPod! Thanks for bringing that to my attention!!
 

dharmabum420

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iPodible said:
Cows are totally useless except for their meat, milk and hides.
You know... that makes them pretty damn useful compared to most other animals we raise... maybe wool balances out leather, and eggs balance out milk, but we don't use milk from any other animal as frequently. Their innards and blood are also pretty useful to a lot of people... mmm... liver, tripe, kidneys, sweetbreads and blood sausage...

Anyway, I'd whack any cow that dared eat my iPod out of sheer spite, no matter how useful they were.
 
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