minor_threat
New member
So, I received my ipod 3 days ago from Apple. I was so excited and couldn't stop myself watching its progress on the internet as it was shipped from some dark corner in Europe and found its way to my house in England. I've spent the last 3 days obsessively feeding CDs into my powerbook and watch as iTunes rips them and spits them out again. Brilliant!
Today I had a phone call from a very attractive female saying she was going to be at some horse-riding stables nearby and this was my best opportunity of catching her and lending her some CDs. I get so excited I could pee because: a) I would be able to walk there and properly listen to my ipod for the first time, b) she is beautiful and I've been told she fancies me but I hadn't noticed any advances. I'm so naive!
Anyway, I get to the stables and pass the CDs on to her, then take up the offer of hanging around and watching the various horsie people going over jumps and galloping around. Not my kind of thing but hey, she wanted me to hang around so I obliged.
In the next field were lots of cows, a big bunch of dopey looking fat bs'tards idling their way around. This is where my day turned into DOOM. The attractive female needed help with one of the gates into the horse field, so I lay my jacket on the grass and rested my ipod on top of a wooden fence post before walking off to help her.
Then, from the gate I turned around to see one moo-ing son of a heiffer stood looking at my ipod on the fence-post with a hungry look in its big dopey eyes. Before I could shout "beefburger" the stupid cud chewing freezer full of steaks-to-be lowered its head and sucked the white headphones into its mouth, then the wire followed, then the ipod.
At this point I went so ballistic the attractive female thought I was going to explode. I had just witnessed the flea infested, 6 titted dimwit giving it stacks with my new ipod. My ballistic shouts must have startled the cow as the dozey fat dopey eyed **** sprayer turned around and ran off to the far end of the field.
I was about to run after it but was held back by the attractive female for fearf that I would cause a stampede and be crushed by cows and bulls with big pointy horns.
This is the worst day ever. Not only do I have no ipod but the most attractive lady for miles around who once liked me now thinks I'm slightly neurotic and crazy for wanting to kill a cow. I'm gutted.
Today I had a phone call from a very attractive female saying she was going to be at some horse-riding stables nearby and this was my best opportunity of catching her and lending her some CDs. I get so excited I could pee because: a) I would be able to walk there and properly listen to my ipod for the first time, b) she is beautiful and I've been told she fancies me but I hadn't noticed any advances. I'm so naive!
Anyway, I get to the stables and pass the CDs on to her, then take up the offer of hanging around and watching the various horsie people going over jumps and galloping around. Not my kind of thing but hey, she wanted me to hang around so I obliged.
In the next field were lots of cows, a big bunch of dopey looking fat bs'tards idling their way around. This is where my day turned into DOOM. The attractive female needed help with one of the gates into the horse field, so I lay my jacket on the grass and rested my ipod on top of a wooden fence post before walking off to help her.
Then, from the gate I turned around to see one moo-ing son of a heiffer stood looking at my ipod on the fence-post with a hungry look in its big dopey eyes. Before I could shout "beefburger" the stupid cud chewing freezer full of steaks-to-be lowered its head and sucked the white headphones into its mouth, then the wire followed, then the ipod.
At this point I went so ballistic the attractive female thought I was going to explode. I had just witnessed the flea infested, 6 titted dimwit giving it stacks with my new ipod. My ballistic shouts must have startled the cow as the dozey fat dopey eyed **** sprayer turned around and ran off to the far end of the field.
I was about to run after it but was held back by the attractive female for fearf that I would cause a stampede and be crushed by cows and bulls with big pointy horns.
This is the worst day ever. Not only do I have no ipod but the most attractive lady for miles around who once liked me now thinks I'm slightly neurotic and crazy for wanting to kill a cow. I'm gutted.