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Topic: Your Best Jokes - Post 'Em Here

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Old 06-01-2016, 09:33 PM
#16
 
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 7

Quote:
Originally Posted by janeausten View Post
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
Haha that was awesome
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Old 08-15-2016, 09:49 AM
#17
 
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 15

I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
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Old 08-17-2016, 05:03 AM
#18
 
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 16

Quote:
Originally Posted by janeausten View Post
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
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Old 08-17-2016, 05:05 AM
#19
 
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 16

A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.

The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.

The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here."

The gorilla replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either."
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Topic: Your Best Jokes - Post 'Em Here

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