Odd. You sure you're picking the most up-to-date library? The "last library used" is stored in the iTunes prefs file (com.apple.iTunes.plist), so there's really no need to do the Option-launch thing every time you start iTunes.... Like, the next time you get a right-looking library from the external on one of the Macs, don't use Option-launch next time you start iTunes on that Mac...and it should be OK.
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